Now with larger text for mobile devices and the visually challenged!
Editor: Bill Xam | Headline writer: Lucas Don Velure | Head writer: Ambrose Katz | Host: Ali Limbali | Announcer: Mahmud Salliban | Public Relations: Haywood U. Buzof | Environmental Research: Carmine Dioxide | Public Relations: Kurt Reply | Community Organizing: Hugh Mongous | Chief Philosopher: Richard Cranium
“Dog brains care about both what we say and how we say it,” said lead researcher Attila Andics, a neuroscientist at Eotvos Lorand University in Budapest, said in an email. “Praise can work as a reward only if both word meaning and intonation match.”
Later, 500 refugee cats showed up to destroy the research lab.
Apparently we now know exactly why Obama and his henchmen decided to give up control of the internet, giving the United Nations ultimate power over the internet – George Soros told him to. The crazy bastard himself, George Soros, in a leaked document says that “those most supportive of open society gain sway.” on the internet. Source
What could possibly be more dangerous than a powerful unelected person in a psedo-governmental position that loses their connection with reality? I suppose powerful space aliens landing and enslaving the human race would be slightly more dangerous.
The White House pulled their heads out of their asses long enough to tell us that higher health insurance premiums are a good thing. For whom exactly it’s good seems obvious, however, for most people the additional costs will require the purchase of less goods and should lead to a nice tidy reccession once everyone is sitting in the dark because they can’t afford to use electricity. Doesn’t matter because they won’t be able to afford any food either.
A brand new Earth, right in the place where the Jupiter 2 will attempt to go to until Dr. Smith shits around with the robot…again has been found. No word as yet on whether Dr. Smith will weasel out of more trouble.
Doctor Arnold Frankenstein was called out of retirement recently to jump start a patient in a coma using some weird looking science gizmos, 2 coathangers, a thunderstorm and two Lime Livesaver candies. Source
That’s right, no longer will you have the stress related to having to decide what to do with the little disposable income you have at the job you haven’t gotten a raise at in a decade – the government will take care of that for you by making ObamaCare™ even worse!